I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
