dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
