in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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