I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
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We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
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If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night