What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters