so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.