My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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