So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
