guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
