On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize