Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
