nut hugger
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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