I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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