would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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