And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This baby is an asshole
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
