Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
