I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Your tits are I can't wait for
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
