plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
