the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
