its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
