is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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