so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
