I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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