You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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