I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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