operation have a gay friend backfired
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
