You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
