I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I had to cum in my sink.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
