i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
