Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
