Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
