She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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