You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
