TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
