I think I died a long time ago.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
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Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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