i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
