i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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