if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
