idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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