the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize