Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
