i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
