Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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