overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Even my vagina gasped.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
