i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
