is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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