I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
