I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
