her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
