whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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