good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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