She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
