I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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