Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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