So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
