I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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