she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize