Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
