he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
