Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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