took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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