I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
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I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
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It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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