I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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