so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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