I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
