Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize